The Mom I Am

I can remember before our son was born, how much of a great mom I was going to be. I protested giving him anything other than water, juice and milk. I would make all of his baby food from natural fruits and veggies. I wasn’t going to let him watch TV more than 15 minutes a day nor was I EVER going to get him a tablet/IPad. We were going to be strict on bedtime and ALWAYS read him a book every single night. He was never going to have sweets NOR would he have soda’s but only for special occasions.
Let’s all take a moment to laugh at how ridiculous that all sounds! I’m not saying we don’t stick to some of those, but let’s be real… We all thought parenting would be easier and we all gave out parenting advice BEFORE we were parents, now I’m wishing I would have just kept an open mind. Let me just say how crazy boys can be, my son is the sweetest thing and his love shines through but he is a dare devil and he’s at that awesome age where he tests EVERYTHING.
Let me be real at how quickly those “rules” went out the door. I will say we did stick to making our own baby food, but mostly thanks to my mother-in-law, if it wasn’t for her, I honestly would have just bought them at the store! Nothing is wrong with that though, the baby gets fed and that’s all that matters. For the most part our son only has water, juice or milk/chocolate milk, he never gets soda’s but it’s extremely hard balancing his juice to water to milk ratios and at this point in time, he typically get’s what he’s craving. The TV is pretty much on from the time we get home to the time we go to bed.. I work, come home to cook dinner, throw him in the shower and say goodnight, there’s no way I’d get ANYTHING done if it wasn’t for that awesome invention. Oh and as for the IPad, yeah he got one last year and let me tell you, it’s saved me from a breakdown many of times and I can’t tell you how much I accomplish within one movie on Netflix while he’s sitting on our bed; that thing is the greatest! His bedtime is 8 PM but every now and then, I run late at work, therefore I run late with dinner, and so on.. so sometimes that get’s pushed back. Oh and if it’s past 8:45, you can throw bath time out the window because that’s just too much and way too late! (I swear for the most part, he takes a bath every night) Now, on those nights, me reading a book is clearly not happening and to be honest, when he’s going down for bed, I’m usually doing dishes or catching up on a 30 minute workout session so that typically happens 3-4 times a week. I go to work way earlier than my husband so he takes him to daycare.. sometimes they’ll come home or I’ll pick our son up and he’s in shorts he wore yesterday and a pj top.. Yeah that happens and I cringe every time. But being a working mom sometimes I have to let go of the fact that my husband will never be a matching, stylist. So, some weeks I’ll pick out his clothes for the week and leave all 5 outfits on the dresser and then Sunday comes around and I forget, so the cycle happens again. Oh, the whole stopping in the middle of the grocery store to watch a child screaming while his mom continues to shop and then stops to hand him a toy he totally doesn’t deserve but for a few moments of peace and quiet, she give it to him anyway for her sanity, YUP that’s me right here! Spoiled? Maybe. Are we all alive and sane? Completely.
While we’re being honest, if you don’t have a boy.. then you’ll never know how much of a heart attack you can have by hearing the words “momma, WATCH THIS” before anything even happens. Not to mention how many times, I’ve caught him in mid-air before falling to the ground and possibly breaking something, my husband has been the real MVP by catching our son doing something completely dumb before it happens more times than I can count and I honestly thought I had this in the bag, and while I do… sometimes those black eyes, stitches and constant bruises/scrapes on his knees or legs, reminds me that having a boy is NOT for the faint of heart and when I heard “it’s a boy”, I never thought he would be this loving but also this “dare-devilish”..
But with everything I’m doing opposite, I also didn’t expect to see myself climbing his little playground just so I can see his point of view of things. Washing mounds of ONLY his laundry, sheets and then I come to his baseball pants and I look back on the day (at this point it’s 9 PM on a Saturday), waking up at 6 AM that day to be at the field at 7:45 just to watch him play T-ball and getting excited that he hit the ball a little further that day; it makes every single “not great” parenting moment’s so worth it. I still get parenting advice from “non-parents” and I take them as they come but in my mind, I think back to when I was them.. oh how different things are. So the mom I am isn’t who I thought I’d be, but the life I’m living is 100% more than I could have ever imagined. While I have zero idea on what I’m doing, I guess I’m doing a pretty good job, because everyone is alive and breathing, and healthy. Parenting doesn’t have a handbook, but being a parent, you kind of get this extra sense, where you know what to do in that moment, and you take it as it comes. Everyone’s styles are different, yours is your own and that is completely okay.

 

 

-Burkeymommy

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