The Envious Mom

Over the last few years I’ve seen through the media a variety of arguments on whether being a “Stay-at-Home” (SAHM) mom was “better” than being a “Working” mom. I’ve never gotten into it nor did I ever want to put my two cents into such an idiotic argument, because to be quite honest both are honorable and both deserve an “all power to you”. Let’s be real, regardless of what side of the argument you’re on, secretly we’re all jealous of each other, or secretly wish the shoe was on the other foot. I’ve never been a “true” SAHM, because I either worked on the weekends or was a full-time student.
July of 2015, I started a “big girl” job as a Project Admin. for a Construction Management company and I LOVED it and still truly do, but every now and then I see other moms who stay at home and I find myself being secretly envious. On my lunch breaks, I’ll go to Chick-Fil-A or Chipotle and catch moms eating lunch with their kiddos and instantly wish I was them with my son. Some mornings, BB man will cry and beg me to stay home with him, and half the time I catch myself wanting to just play “hookie” with him and just lay in bed all day watching movies. Our schedule sometimes gets to him, and I can see that.. I wake up at 5:45-6, leave at 7, Matt & BB man leave around 7:20-7:30, I get home around 6 and Matt varies from 5:30-6:30, as soon as I get home I cook dinner, we sit down to eat it at around 6:45-7, right after BB man gets his bath while I clean up, then we get him ready for bed and will read stories, bedtime is strictly at 8; Matt & I are usually in bed around 9 and fall out around 9:30-10 and we continue the cycle Monday-Friday.. Friday night’s we rent a movie and just lay in bed with BB man; those are my favorite nights. Saturday and Sunday’s are pretty booked because that’s when we find time to get stuff done or try to see family that we don’t see during the week and it’s hard to split our time between BB man, family, and getting stuff done… So I think to myself how much better would it be if I stayed home and cleaned all day and we wouldn’t be so jam packed during the weekends. But I have a family, and we love to go on adventures, and all this wishing I could just be at home with my son doesn’t pay the bills, it doesn’t support the lifestyle we want for our child or future children. Sure we could live off of my husbands paycheck and sure if we were ever in a bind, we have our parents, but I’d never want to live that way. When we made the decision to have a child, move out, and live on our own, we made the decision to be responsible for all of the things we want in life. When I look back on my life, I want to look back and be able to say WE did it, not that we had to rely on our parents, but that WE worked hard and all of the things we have is because we worked hard to get it and our son will know what “hard work pays off” looks like. Of course our parents help in ways I can’t even express, and the first few years we became parents, the help was overwhelming and I will never EVER be able to express the amount of gratitude we have but when we moved out, we knew it was all on us. I don’t say this to offend anyone or to shove it in their faces because just like I’m wanting to stay home, I’m sure there is mothers out there that would love to get out of the house and help support their families as well, it’s just not in their books at the moment; and that is completely fine!

Finding the right balance for our families is something that is done together, with the support of your husband/wife. Regardless of how I’m feeling, whether it’s guilt that I’m not home often, or glad to be helping out… my family is well fed, happy, and full of love for each other; if that’s how your day ends, nothing else matters. As mothers, we have to start lifting each other up, saluting those who do it all, and help those who feel like they aren’t. This world needs more compassion and love; and less judgement. If you work 8-5, kudos to you; if you stay at home, rock on; if you’re a student mom, you will finish; and if you’re a new mom trying to find your balance, it’ll happen. We are moms and we were born to rock motherhood!

With So Much Love,
-Burkeymommy

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