The Husband I Never Knew

To My Husband I Never Knew,10355004_10153117840179571_800279986237946153_n

We’ve been best friends/lovers since the age of 18. I fell so deeply in love with you when you came home from Winter Break & the first thing you wanted to do was go on a date. Not unload or catch a nap, but take me out. I thought I knew everything I needed to know about you, from the way you smelled to seeing how much you enjoyed baseball. The way you hated being in the backseat when we went out with friends, the way you loved coming to the dorm room to me sleeping, I even knew every time you were taking notes when I would hint at something I wanted. Those teenage versions of ourselves were so perfect at the time & we thought we owned that town… But we didn’t even know a quarter of what life had to offer.

That overwhelming feeling of love grew more and more with time. We found out we were pregnant May of 2012… Remembering that day, you weren’t even phased by the announcement, you didn’t put your head down or rub it in any type of aggravating way, you weren’t stone; you were calm, held me and told me it would all work out and be okay. In that moment, I knew you were the one.  The day our son was born, I will always remember you telling me “You did so good babe, our son is here!”; you walked over to him, squatted down and just stared in amazement. Pure amazement that we created such a perfect tiny human being. I had never seen that side of you, the side of such a proud & happy father. So many sides of you that my 18 year old self never saw, & never would imagine me seeing. From being a boyfriend, fiance, father, husband.. There will be so many more sides of you I have yet to see too. And I can’t wait until the day I get to finally say that I’ve seen every side of you, every version of you.

But the best side, is the hardworking husband. There has been days I’ve gone to sleep all alone, put BB to bed all alone, cooked dinner for BB & myself without you, waking up to only BB in bed with me, & doing activities and trips just the two of us; and you not being there. You’ve sacrificed so much just so BB and I will have the life you think we deserve. I know every time you aren’t home or you don’t come home until 12 or later in the night, you so long to be there. But you don’t ever say a negative word about it. You put us before yourself, and you don’t even hesitate. I realize how beyond blessed I am when you come home all dirty, head straight to the shower, come out squeaky clean & tired, yet you still make time in that tired body of yours to make love. Your hands are covered in calluses, your body & back ache after those hard days, your feet that constantly need massages, & your tired eyes from time to time, just prove how much you sacrifice for us. & we unconditionally love that hardworking mindset you have.

Lately, everything has gotten so much better but your always wanting to find time to work overtime so we have that extra money to do family vacations & save; makes me love that side of you & I hope that BB gets that trait from you. We are unbelievably blessed to have you in our lives, as a husband & father. You are the best kind of man. You are the husband I never knew I had or would ever have. I learn so much more each and everyday but I love each part of you, every side of you, every tiny flaw and perfection. I love all of you.

-L.B.

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